The Source Of Ruin

by ÆRA

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      €7 EUR  or more

     

1.
Neste gang er det over Løgn, svik, tilgivelse Synd og skam, salt i mine sår Ved Odins galge og Loddfavnes grav En brønn jeg aldri fant igjen Forræderske ord, et mantra som er glemt Ingen sommer, vinter, vår, jeg kjenner kun høst Lukten av saltvann i det fjerne Og stikkende svovel i det nære Det skriker som faen under huden, 24/7: 365 Sorg, hat og død var engler ved min krybbe De eneste som fortsatt er med meg Når jeg leiter etter min sjels speilbilde i to kølsvarte øyne Jeg vil utlevere en løgn, så nær sannheten at jeg ikke ser skille Vise fram det svarte i en annen farge Men et hjerte som banker skal motstand finne Poesi og tragedie, en verdig finale Som Njord og Skade, som Frøy og Gerd Verden er tidløs og syklisk for meg 14 måneder med selvransakelse Dypere, mer intenst og råttent Det er som om all tid har stått stille Kaster stjålne blikk og er mer sjelden enn vakker Det handler ikke lengre om oss Kun ulykkelighet og abstinenser Øyeblikket som endrer en dag Øyeblikket som ender alt Tragiske tanker og håpløse år Jeg forlot en verden som vendte meg ryggen Fremmede takter og disharmoni Er det tilflukt å finne i askens holt? Jeg forbanner en bitterhet som bunner i frykt Nidkjær er jeg blitt, feig og stum For noe i meg er ødelagt når det eneste lyset er fravær av smerte Innerst inne gråter jeg men utad snakker jeg flytende stillhet Kan vårt møte ha vært en ulykke? Hva er egentlig vrakpanten på et liv? En hul fasade, et tomt skall Et minne om vondskapen som kom inn i verden Monumental i sin smerte som den herlige sorgen over egen død Det usagte ord om lengsel og lidelse, stemmer om natt og nærhet Et forsøk på å vende min supernova til en tosom tvillingstjerne Et minne fra den tiden mennesker hadde to ansikter og én sjel Med skyer malt som blod er jeg todelt blant stjerner Synger om en verden som atter skal bli I et ensomt liv går poesi og synd hånd i hånd Takk og farvel - på vegne av venner Jeg fant det ene lyset i et fremmed språk Men selv med rett tale går ordene forbi Estetikk og kunst er et overfladisk dyp Og nattlyset ditt det kjenner sine grenser
2.
I Am Tomorrow Now today was good to me Today has been my friend More than any day could be I never want this day to end Now I don't see shadows My face towards the sun The brightness of the universe It all exists in truthful eyes I come from a land where all hope is dead Illuminated by the bridges in flames Noone held my hand when it was bloody And I sat in a corner alone Noone read the diary written all over my skin All the people from my past Know a version of me that don't exist All the people from my past Know a version of me that I have killed I have endured I have known hardship There are times where I've lost myself And there were times where I was broken All these imperfections made me stronger each passing day Through sickness and health Through better or worse I'm raising my standards for a better life
3.
When she speaks to me of silence, it's the silence inbetween I'm reminded of something I never had And how I never deserved your kindness The inside glows like an inferno in the darkness The canvas of a body and a heart torn to shreds Internalizing your pain into myself I'm in love with the darkness inside of you But you can't put your arms around a memory - it's true Awaken in burning woods Where dreams die first A deteriorating will to life My name is Ruin and it's too fucking late I burnt out lifetimes ago The smell of sulphur surrounds me I drown in ashes of past mistakes Flaws - I got them Laws - I broke them Dues - I paid them Scars - I bare them Lessons - I learned them Problems - still got them Wounds - I carve them Words - I sing them Cursed with visions, still I'm struck blind by your beauty All the clouds from all over the world are on top of me An escape from reality, how could we ever be? Escape from reality, watch you escape from me An escape from reality, all I could ever be Escape from reality, watch you escape from me Everything you do to me hurts and still I keep coming back for more This time I won't stay where I'm needed I will go where I am loved I will leave you and your entire world behind You had your chance, I already forgot your smile
4.
Noe i deg er sluppet løs i natt Ild og is som fletter lenker Jotunkraft, ei av vanaætt Ingen alv og ingen åsynje Gyger, tidløs som isen Urein, vakker, berserkergang Datter av Muspell og Nivl Et stormvær i måneskinn Et hedensk hjerte minnes livet Og femten ånder i det gamle speilet Noe skriker under huden Det er lysets sanne hælvete I rødt og svart og med vakre toner Leken, naken og likbleik hud Begjæret kjenner ingen grenser For den som er min Gerd i heim Fra Lidskjalv så jeg livets ende Skjebner, stjerner, blod og hjerter Sår i natta, sår i speilet Takter av en selvmordsdans Gere, Freke, Skoll og Hate Mettes av min undergang Surt slår hardt og Loke smiler Frøy og Frøya nyter hud En port er åpna og jeg frykter livet Hvem er her for meg når Hugin drar sin vei? Magiske galdre sender stormer vekk Aldri trodde jeg at krigen kunne føles slik Alt er tomhet og jeg er ille ute Når jeg blir værende for å råtne på rot Alle er blitt blinde her, det er ingen som spør nå Hvordan kan en slagen mann reise seg for en ny dag? Brennende hat og et frosset hjerte Nattlige riter sender frosten hjem Et urskrik gir ekko gjennom gråbeins tegn Igjen er jeg hjemsøkt av kjente runer
5.
I look in the mirror and what do I see? A scarred doll of hatred I see me I give birth to myself upon a framed picture of sorrow In my heart and memory I die twice What's in my heart differs from what's in my arms The cleft between your world and mine The constant scream beneath the skin Grey is the colour of love And black is the name for my soul A desolate expression And lack of honesty with friends But you know birds sing for poor people too And flowers grow in concrete and steep hills You don't need perfection to have beauty And you don't need traumas to have a past By all my burning candles I see faces in the dark Shadows in my mind And whispers in my head Throw the sand against the wind Watch it hit you in the face Feed the priest to the flame No human morals allowed My doubts, my fears My pride and lust My guilt, my tears My lack of trust
6.
I met the Devil with an angelic face They say true friends don't lie But all this time I was falling apart Happy memories are only cremations Knowing yesterday could be my last I must do this now, to get rid of my pride My own world isn't safe anymore I'm lonely as the silence calls And hopeless as the ashes fall I am not God, nor do I wish to be But if blinded I am, with no strings attached I'm prepared to make this day my last Praying what I do is right I'm near the struggles end Wandering towards the light I can never make amend The source of my ruin is the craving in my life The last war of silence, the battle within I'm prepared to release myself and to be free from my sin My inner happy place in ruins Scorned by the fire of my doom It's a drama on a stage I denied Willingly the curtains close on my performance Happy memories are now only cremations I'll take what's mine and then some more
7.
Tonight, in silent reflections I look back at my past Serving a life sentence for crimes I didn't commit Sitting on my throne of tears, a mercy seat unplugged It's my heart that's broken and not the spine So you get the attention, but you won't get the love This universe was built on my own blood and soil I am the one who decides who may enter And those who do: Abandon all hope My strength is in loyalty and not in your numbers A clearer vision with a smaller circle Because people don't care for you when you're alone They only care when they themselves may profit The misanthropy has gotten to my head I'm back in the river where I drowned myself And still waters they run deeper than before I turn to the sky and shout in vain: Why did you come and make me so alone? But the wind replies with the same words again: The strongest hearts have the deepest scars! So I wear mine on the outside while you touch with tainted hands All your speech has made me numb and cold I won't listen to your fake words of praise And all your criticism is lost on me You will never reach the surface as I hid away the key I'm my own minds prisoner wounded by the pain Lying on my back and waiting to be free Grabbing at my head filled with hurting memories Driving me insane and keeping me awake Wanting to fall asleep, now the world is grey Get some rest and close my eye I don't want to see how my life has fallen apart Can't wash away the blood that coloured my arms Amble down the darkened path Wandering towards the light Feet are torned on jagged stones Obscured by nightly mist What compels me to move? The predatory eyes upon me Drunk on the scent of blood They stalk as I talk to gods Blinking is becoming harder Heartbeats are now only voluntary Vocabularies become just stutters Breathing is starting to scare me Call it fear, but I think it runs deeper Almost to the point of a description This is inching closer and closer A snake-like shadow will cover my mind Throw the eyes of a saint in the hands of a sinner May the blood of the damned lead our minds to salvation In this war made for gods in a peace from the devils From the hands of a mortal Between twilight, a breaking day

about

The sales of this album will help the ongoing battle against Coronavirus pendemic.

credits

released March 27, 2020

Written and recorded in winter 2019.
Mixed and mastered by ÆRA in november 2019.

Personnel:

Stein Akslen: Grim vocals, lyrics
Niklas Kveldulfsson: Drums, guitars, bass, backing vocals/choirs.

Photography by Michele "Gawen" Augello.

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

ÆRA Drammen, Norway

Created by Ulf in late 2016, as a way to release ideas and sonic landscapes nurtured since the 90's that didn't match the other ongoing bands/projects.

Our motivation is to bring back some of the old ways, thoughts and visions that our ancestors created and experienced, which became our roots.

Æra is:
Stein Akslen: Vocals, lyrics
Ulf Niklas Kveldulfsson: All Instruments
... more

contact / help

Contact ÆRA

Streaming and
Download help

Report this album or account

If you like ÆRA, you may also like: